Parenting and Behavior Modification

Both my degrees are in special education and one topic I enjoyed studying was behavior modification. Most of you have probably heard the research about making a habit in 21 days, but many times as a teacher I saw new skills or changes in behavior in less than 21 days. Consistency and a good plan was all it took to begin changing undesired behavior.

So last Sunday Jeremy and I set our on our first parental adventure of behavior training. Haven slept like a champ for about 8 months and then she started waking up a few times a night again. Every night was different, but it finally got the point where it clicked that we could probably do something about it. So, we decided to be more firm on a bedtime and to let her cry it out. Now she is sleeping on average 11 hours even though she is really sick! It worked.

Now I know that this is just the first of many trials, but we had success and I am sleeping sweeter!

How do you like this big girl? She will 1 tomorrow.

Marriage

"A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences."- Dave Meueer

Values during the season of giving

"We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs." Gloria Steinem

It's beginning to look a lot like....

CHRISTMAS!! I love the holidays. Luckily, I married into a family full of people that love Christmas as much as I do. Jeremy's dad, Jeff, is the ultimate Christmas man and I got some shots of his attic to share with you guys. He doesn't miss a sale after the holidays and once he organized he realized how much Christmas stuff he actually has. I thought he did a great job using their rafters as wrapping storage. He is a master packer and uses every inch of storage possible. He even used extra Christmas lights to brighten up the attic. Good job!

So True

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." Phyllis Diller

Productive Parenting

Everyday I get an email from Productive Parenting, that gives me an activity to do with Haven. Sometimes they are activities that we already do, some she isn't ready for yet, and some are perfect. You can pick an age group and get an email for your child.

They now have a blog, facebook page, and other family resources available. Check it out.

www.productiveparenting.com

http://productiveparenting-emily.blogspot.com/

organizing

"Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up." A.A. Milne

School Keepsakes

Keepsake Portfolio from www.ttgo.com

In honor of school starting, I wanted to remind you all of a few things about storing school keepsakes.

1. Sort carefully. Don't keep everything, only your favorites.

2. Store properly and orderly, so your children can help with the process. Let them help decide what stays because they will be the ones digging through it as they get older.

3. Take pictures of large projects and make digital scrapbooks or just store the pictures on your computer.


The All-in-one from schoolfolio.com

Saving a few bucks

For the past year, I have been cutting my dryer sheets in half because I kept reading that you really only need half of one to do the job well. So, that has been a great way to save a few dollars on laundry. However, I just realized that the same idea would work for paper towels. You can buy the select-a-size towels and that is what I have being doing. They last so much longer that way. But, I made a huge mistake and thought I was saving money by using a coupon on a roll of expensive paper towels. I really didn't save myself any money because they were still too much and they were single sheets. So, I unrolled about 10 sheets the other day and cut them in half vertically and then rolled them back up. Now it doesn't look really neat, but it works. I am determined to get my money out of these paper towels.



Another fabulous money saver that I was reminded of over the weekend is the "All You" magazine from Walmart. You can go to www.allyou.com for coupons, plus there are $83 worth of coupons in the magazine itself that only costs $2 or so. The coupons are great ones too, not your regular Sunday paper coupons.

Toys R Us

I just found out today that Toys R Us has a toy guide/catalog for Differently-Abled kids. How great is that? I am looking at it on there website, but you may be able to get it in the mail as well. I couldn't find it online. Don't they normally come out in Sunday papers? Pass this along to any families you know with differently-abled kids. I like that term!

Truth from good ole' Ben Franklin

"For every minute spent in organizing, an hour is earned." Benjamin Franklin

Be Intentional

I just finished reading The Duggar's new book, "20 and counting." I know some people don't agree with their methods, but I think their outcomes are hard to beat. The book was very informative and inspirational. I finished the book feeling inspired to be an intentional parent. It is important to not get so busy with all the "stuff" that I forget to teach, train, and enjoy the precious gift God has given us.



The Duggars shared about the way they make, save, and spend money. They also wrote about their family practices, discipline, and education. They talked a lot about consistency when training their children, which got me thinking about this new journey I am on and where I have already been.

I am new to being a mom, but as a teacher I learned a little bit about consistency. I had to crack a few tough cookies as a teacher. While working with children with disabilities, I dealt with a lot of behavior issues that I had to figure out and received lots of advice and assistance. The greatest lesson I learned was to be consistent. I had kickers, hitters, cussers, screamers, fighters, criers, etc. If my assistant and I stuck with our plan consistently it worked. Behavior plans are not easy because situations change, it is time consuming, and just plain hard to stay calm. However, it always amazed me that at the end of a two or three week period our problem was normally completely fixed or manageable. Some plans consisted of time out every time a behavior occurred, another plan might have been to read a book, and another would be me being consistent with my tone and answers. Managing unacceptable behavior isn't easy, but it is necessary.

What always amazed me at the end of one of these behavior modification issues is that the child would always hug me at the end of the day, give me a huge smile, and tell me they would see me the next day. Now if you had seen me sticking to my guns during that long 7 hours of the day that may have lasted for weeks, you may have thought that I was mean or that the child would be angry with me. Nope. Children love to have boundaries. They love consistency. They love knowing that you care enough to correct them. In the heat of battle I may have gotten hit or screamed at, but at the end of the day I would hear, "I love you, see you tomorrow." WOW!

Back to the Duggars. Some people may think they are too strict or that some of their methods are a little foreign, but I can promise you that most children would thrive in that atmosphere. Not an overbearing or strict atmosphere, but a home filled with a balance of freedom, love, consistency, and intentional parenting.

Life Story

I am not sure who Becky Higgins is, but she has some great files available to make your own life story book. I love history (thanks daddy) and feel like this is a great way to make sure your story lives on. Check it out. Becky's Blog

(I read a little more on Becky's blog and it seems that she is scrapbook queen.)

Meal Planning

Here I am with the only cake I have ever made. This is also the last picture of my pregnant belly before Haven came 2 months early.

I really struggle with cooking and I think this may help me from being overwhelmed.

This idea from: LifeOrganizers.com

Make meals easy, by creating a 21 day meal rotation plan. This creates enough variety so that no one gets bored, but it also takes away the stress of figuring out what to make for supper. Include a few no-cook meals in the plan.

This idea from: Simplemom.net

Monday: Mexican

Tuesday: Asian

Wednesday: Italian

Thursday: Eat out

Friday: Grill out (meat and veggies)

Saturday: Eat out or Something new

Sunday: salad/soup/sandwiches

What do you think?

Train up...

Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Here's Charles Swindoll's commentary on this scripture from his book Parenting From Surviving to Thriving.

This verse in most biblical manuals has a standard interpretation that goes something like this: "Rear your children as moral, upright, God-fearing, churchgoing kids. Be sure they carry a Bible to church, attend lots of Sunday school classes, and each summer attend Christian camps. Enforce your rules and regulations with consistency and discipline. Make sure they learn the Ten commandments, the Golden Rule, and several key verses of Scripture. Teach them to pray, and be sure they come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. After all, they're eventually going to sow their wild oats as they are certain to rebel. They'll live in that rebellious lifestyle for a while, then, once their oats are sown and they tire of their fling with the wild side of life-when they're old and decrepit-they'll come back to the Lord...but only if you raised them right!"

He thens shares the Hebrew origin of the scripture and ends with this paraphrase of this proverb with the translations in mind: "Cultivate a thirst, initiate a hunger, create an appetite for spiritual things in the lives of children of any age, as long as they are living under your roof, and do it in keeping with they way they are bent-disciplining the disobedience and the evil while affirming and encouraging the good, the artistic, the beautiful. As children begin to grow into adults, theirs paths will be aimed directly toward the Savior, and they will continue to walk in His sovereignty."

iCatalogs

Hopefully all catalogs will be paperless soon! iCatalogs is trying to put all catalogs in one location. Wouldn't that be great? Check this out.

What are iCatalogs?
iCatalogs are paperless catalogs packed with products and deals from your favorite brands.

Use iCatalogs at Catalog Choice or click "Get & Share" to put the iCatalog on your desktop, home page or email it to a friend.

iCatalogs are a new service from Catalog Choice connecting brands and consumers to go paperless. Any purchase you make through your iCatalog supports our free mail preference service.

Stores that have linked up with iCatalogs so far:
Crate & Barrel
UncommonGoods
Sierra Trading Post
Plow & Hearth
Smith & Hawken
Eastern Mountain Sports
Swell
Lucky Brand

Stop Junk Mail and Aggravating Phone Calls

If you haven't already you should check out these websites and cut down on junk mail and phonecalls. This will not only alleviate some paper clutter, but it will also free up some time.

1) OptOutPrescreen.com

OptOutPrescreen. com is a centralized service to accept and process requests from consumers to "Opt-In" or “Opt-Out” of firm offers of credit or insurance. OptOutPrescreen. com is a joint venture among Equifax Information Services, LLC, Experian Information Solutions, Inc., Innovis Data Solutions, Inc., and TransUnion, LLC (collectively the "Consumer Credit Reporting Companies"). via phone by dialing 888-5 OPT-OUT (888-567-8688) This allow the consumer to opt out for five years.

2) www.catalogchoice.org

Catalog choice allows you to opt out of catalogs of your choice.

3) www.dmachoice.org

Direct Marketing Association provides a variety of opt out options for consumer assistance. However, the consumer will have to register on line or download the form and mail.

4) National Do Not Call List www.donotcall.gov

Example of an Organized Medicine Cabinet

I have enjoyed reading this family's blog. They are a family of 9 (well now 10 with a son-in-law). They live on a farm and this post exposed that the dad doesn't like clutter. So mom reorganized and it looks great. Check it out. http://www.kellerfamilyof9.com/2009/05/surprise-for-captain.html

Summer Picnic Checklist

During the summer many local organizations host free movie nights, free concerts, and not to mention all of the wonderful splash parks around. Pack a picnic and enjoy the warm weather with minimal clean up. Here's a picnic checklist to take a look at so you don't forget anything.

Picnic Checklist

Another article by Dr. Bev Rodgers on Divorce

Jon & Kate Get Your Facts Straight

Marriage Under Attack

Wow! This week has been filled with marital drama. Jon and Kate first and now the stinking Governor of South Carolina. I started a post on May 26th about this, but I am just now getting around to finishing it up. I have just been shocked this week. Now, I know what you might be thinking, "everybody makes mistakes, Holly" or "you don't know what they have been through." I am not going to blame anybody in the post, but I just want to state a few facts.

-Satan is real. "Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (1 Peter 5:8) Right before that it says, "Be self-controlled and alert." You better believe that he is looking for a moment of weakness to attack his prey. If you are struggling with an area in your life, WAKE UP! Be alert! Get some help by talking to a friend, through prayer, or making new commitments. Don't think that you have it all covered and you are invincible. Self-control is not easy, but in your weakness you better figure out how to control your actions or you are asking to be eaten up.

-Marriage is God's idea. He created woman for man and the bible is pretty clear about how a husband and wife should treat each other. Love and respect are necessary. Forgiveness and faithfulness are at the top of the list. Society has been trying to knock marriage for years now. When "conservative, christian" public figures make mistakes in their marriages it just adds fuel to flame. Why protect and uphold marriage and marital commitments when it doesn't work for most people? This is scary folks.

-Matthew 16:26 says, "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" Now, I am not saying that divorce or marital problems will make you lose your soul. I just think we need to take a hard look at our priorities and make sure that they are in an order that will bring glory to God first and then peace and joy in our everyday lives.

Just a few things to ponder.

Happy Father's Day

"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." Clarence B. Kelland

Special Needs Resources

Thanks to my sister, Wendy, for letting me know about the special need section on Chuck Swindoll's website. Check it out here.

Pass this along to any families you know that could benefit from this info.

Jon and Kate and Dr. Bev Rodgers

I told you I love Dr. Bev Rodgers. She wrote an article addressing Jon and Kate plus 8! Check it out- http://soulhealinglove.com/newsletters.htm#jonkate

HOPE for your marriage

I am a huge fan of Drs. Bev and Tom Rodgers of Rodgers Christian Counseling. Jeremy and I used one of their counselors for our premarital counseling and I recently took a course with them on their Soul Healing Love model. Their conferences are wonderful and so are their materials. They were the 2008 Best of Charlotte Marriage and Family Counselors. Check them out. www.soulhealinglove.com

It's not just for draining food

I saw an idea for organizing your children's bath toys. Use a colander to store the toys, that way everything can dry out and stay contained. Any colander will work, but maybe you could find a cool one that your kids would like.

Other uses: sand toy or template to make a perfect circle.

HOPE for your finances

"Money is only a tool. It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver." -Ayn Rand

HOPE for your children

"A mother understands what a child does not say." - Jewish Proverb

This picture means, "I have the best daddy in the world."

New Format for HOPE for the home

Instead of a monthly HOPE for the home newsletter, I will now be blogging. I will host guest bloggers at times and HOPE is extended to reach the areas of marriage, finances, and children. Check the blog regularly for updates. I will also email to let you know to check the blog. You can follow the blog by clicking on the Follow button in the bottom right.

I hope you will enjoy this. It should be fun!

Organized by fire

I heard an interesting question asked on Clean House today (yes, we have Style Network this week for free). The girl was sad to sell some of her father's junk, but the guy on the show asked her about how selling the stuff affects her love for her dad. He said, "If all this were to burn tomorrow, would you still love and appreciate your dad?" Of course, the stuff doesn't affect her love for him.



If your house were to burn down what items would you hope to salvage? Would it be kitchen appliances, junk mail, and toys or would you rather save family keepsakes, artwork, or pictures? Every person's answer will be different because we all care about different things.

No matter what you save, think about all the stuff that you would never miss. Those are probably items that you should weed through every now and then. Don't forget that as the season changes it is a great time to clean out and purge items that you aren't using anymore.