Be Intentional

I just finished reading The Duggar's new book, "20 and counting." I know some people don't agree with their methods, but I think their outcomes are hard to beat. The book was very informative and inspirational. I finished the book feeling inspired to be an intentional parent. It is important to not get so busy with all the "stuff" that I forget to teach, train, and enjoy the precious gift God has given us.



The Duggars shared about the way they make, save, and spend money. They also wrote about their family practices, discipline, and education. They talked a lot about consistency when training their children, which got me thinking about this new journey I am on and where I have already been.

I am new to being a mom, but as a teacher I learned a little bit about consistency. I had to crack a few tough cookies as a teacher. While working with children with disabilities, I dealt with a lot of behavior issues that I had to figure out and received lots of advice and assistance. The greatest lesson I learned was to be consistent. I had kickers, hitters, cussers, screamers, fighters, criers, etc. If my assistant and I stuck with our plan consistently it worked. Behavior plans are not easy because situations change, it is time consuming, and just plain hard to stay calm. However, it always amazed me that at the end of a two or three week period our problem was normally completely fixed or manageable. Some plans consisted of time out every time a behavior occurred, another plan might have been to read a book, and another would be me being consistent with my tone and answers. Managing unacceptable behavior isn't easy, but it is necessary.

What always amazed me at the end of one of these behavior modification issues is that the child would always hug me at the end of the day, give me a huge smile, and tell me they would see me the next day. Now if you had seen me sticking to my guns during that long 7 hours of the day that may have lasted for weeks, you may have thought that I was mean or that the child would be angry with me. Nope. Children love to have boundaries. They love consistency. They love knowing that you care enough to correct them. In the heat of battle I may have gotten hit or screamed at, but at the end of the day I would hear, "I love you, see you tomorrow." WOW!

Back to the Duggars. Some people may think they are too strict or that some of their methods are a little foreign, but I can promise you that most children would thrive in that atmosphere. Not an overbearing or strict atmosphere, but a home filled with a balance of freedom, love, consistency, and intentional parenting.